A sad milestone...

4 years ago at this time of the year, I was interviewing for a new job.  Why?

#1-I was not happy in my current position.
#2-I wanted a job with benefits to pay for maternity coverage.  (being that we are self-employed, any health insurance you find doesn't cover maternity, let alone infertility, and IF it does-you pay an arm & a leg.)

We were ready to start our family.  We had always talked about enjoying a couple years of marriage of just us and then having a child.  Our first two years were beyond stressful dealing with my mother-in-law's Alzheimer's diagnosis, trying to build a house, and of course-just getting to know one another as husband & wife.

When I got my new job, I got pretty good benefits.  It would pay for maternity so we were set.

But, then August 23, 2007 came.  I found out I would be losing my job at the end of the year. 

Crud.
There goes the benefits.
There goes hope down the drain.

Instead of losing my job at the end of the year, I was told that I would have my job through at least March 2008. 

Hope restored.

Then, January 14, 2008, my world came crashing down.  I was losing my job in 17 days.  I was devastated because I knew that there was something wrong.  I mean, we should have been pregnant by that point.  But, we weren't.  Now, we were losing our health insurance coverage and no one would cover maternity or infertility.

Sadness.

Now, here we are 3 years and 1 week after that day.  Still empty arms and broken hearts.  We have that "unexplained" infertility.  Everything is good, great, working but yet for some unknown reason to us, we cannot have a child.  It is overwhelming...and this past Monday, that hope was crushed again.

I just wonder where we will be at in 3 years and 1 week from today.